There’s something surreal about seeing all your life belongings in two bags, a laptop and its charger in an envelope and only two thousand on your M-Pesa of which 1500 belongs to Fuliza.
There are no goodbyes when you are going back to the village by the way. To most people its good riddance. They actually want the door knob to hit you on the way out. So only a handful of people knew and most of you will know when reading this. Most guys know me as Kamba/Taita. But this time I wanted to hide in the deepest pocket of the village where internet is crappy, the nearest shopping centre would put your steps to shame and everyone says hi to you even if they do not know you.
The journey starts and suddenly your WhatsApp is silent like people know you are of no use them anymore but that’s just how the journey begins. The ride there although punctuated by a few people murmuring whose sounds you drown away with a heavily diluted bottle of Stoney that contains gin – the Stoney is what was diluted btw.
Nothing much eventful happens until you get to the village. When you are in the village the things there are a bit different because while there were no goodbyes from the city, people here welcome you with open arms heck, your first meal is definitely something meaty and you are bombarded with the usual question “do you remember me?”
This is where you smile, sheepishly like you’ve been caught red-handed stealing sugar by your grandma. There’s never a polite way to answer this without a pinch of sarcasm and if you try sarcasm in the village it would be like you went to the kibanda and asked for beef stroganoff.
However, it does feel nice. Like a warm welcome that befits the cold goodbye. Like with any new place that any seasoned traveller will tell you, there are four things you need to find out about before settling in. It is like reading the side effects of a medicine before you take it. A tedious process but necessary, no one wants to be treating a cold and ending up with a boil up their ass. So if you are not aware here is my own personal curated list.
You need to find:
- The nearest clinic – near is an understatement because if say you were bitten by a snake two things might kill you and that’s the clinic being understaffed or not getting there in time. It sounds morbid but if you live in a place where snakes are prevalent by all means don’t get bitten.
- The nearest church – I am not overly religious or even close to it but finding the nearest church in the village is important because here people abhor phones. They believe in a sense of community above anything else. News here will spread faster in a church than it will via social media groups or posts. The nearest church means that if you are ever in trouble or just want to crash a wedding (they don’t do invites either) you can easily get help and or enjoy some pilau. Oh and considering most people do not own cars the nearest church means your chances of getting to hospital faster are higher should say said snake bites you. So I found the nearest church.
- The nearest bar/local – Of course I would not leave this out. But even for people who are teetotalers, it is easier to get directions if you know the name and location of the village bar. Most likely they will know it because it is going to be the only one around for miles and they’ll use it as the focal point for your directions kind of village Afya Centre. So yes I did find the nearest village bar and instead of finding despair hanging low like a cloud of grief people were overly cheerful and not a single person was sitting alone.
- The Chief’s office – I figured that I might one day be falsely accused of kidnapping a baby goat. If you get it you get it. I might need a letter from them to let me join a chama or something like that. So finding the chief’s office is important. Also, in the village they might be more powerful than the president – they are revered.
These are not set in stone but trust me on this one; life is much easier when you are part of the community. You never know when your goat will go missing and enjoying a neighbour’s sprouting maize.