Lead Your Woman: No Two Ways About it

By Chomba Njoka

Published on 05/02/2022

I sometimes hang out in restaurants just to observe how couples walk in, how they talk to each other, how they are physical with each other, and you can always tell how old the relationship is, whether the lady loves and respects the man if the guy is democratic, dominant, or laissez-faire

Sometimes I look at men and I want to beg them to know their position, to keep frame, to be firm, but men are too sucked into female worship, and modernism has taken away the rugged forms of masculinity that makes men powerful, tough, and aggressive. It is almost taboo to say these things nowadays. Yet, if you flip the genders, it is considered normal.

Don’t relinquish your position for her, it’s the greatest sign of weakness, she puts you in a position, she sees you as a head: her head. She sees you as her security, her guide, her safety, she uses words like “I feel so safe with you’, ‘I trust you’, ‘I treasure your judgement’ and ‘I trust your leadership’. When you relinquish that position, you refuse to show decision, firmness, stability, control, and dedication to purpose. It’s the equivalent of what happens when a country’s leadership is frail and the citizens don’t trust it, they vote them out ruthlessly and have someone else take that mantle. 

Some women of course may be more dominant, and sometimes it may be a matter of a woman’s unique personality and upbringing, but largely, a part of them defaults to male guidance.

Let a woman invest more in you than you invest in her. Trusting a woman is investing in her more than she is, and hypergamy doesn’t allow her to value a man who values her more than she values him.

A man must be on guard, alert, skeptical, analytical, it’s the traits of a leader, a warrior; a warrior doesn’t trust those that look up to him, he protects them, he shields them from a lot of harsh realities of the unforgiving world. He can’t tell them he is defeated, broken, or struggling, just because he feels like it, doing that takes away all the trust of those under him have in his capacity. However, a man should never show his woman that he doesn’t trust them, it should be an internal frame of mind. His modus operandi. The natural imperative for women is to trust the leadership of the man, the natural male imperative is to show love by protecting those he loves by making sacrifices for them, love a woman, leave the trusting to her.

Men who wholeheartedly blindly trust a woman are telling a woman to take the mantle. Once you become an equal in the sense of leadership, you will be shocked how fast the tables turn. Women have a long way to learn to handle power within the context of relationships. As of now, as a man, you must be alert, critical, firm, and swift. This does not mean being a dictator to prove your power or being cruel to justify your dominance. Or being secretive. It is being wise, level-headed, and aware of female nature and weakness.

Being afraid of losing your woman is a weakness that she notes through her shit tests. A guy I know was called by the girlfriend in our presence, it was not an emergency, it was a casual random call, he tried to explain that he was with the boys, she would hear none of it, she dropped the typical shit test of ‘you  don’t value me’, ‘you value your boys more’, and he fell for it by trying to explain instead of being firm and precise, she was testing his firmness, and she knew he wasn’t, he is a weak man who cannot be firm in a calm way. 

What ensued was an argument him trying to remind her that she is sometimes unavailable, yet he understands, he was trying to reason with female rationality, which is not logical but emotional, she would hear none of it, he totally lost frame, he was angry, he was afraid of disappointing her, losing her if he told her no. That is the classic shit test. 

One of the greatest weakness of men is fear of losing women or disappointing or disapproving them, a classic show of beta traits and a lack of masculine leadership, a lack of individuality, a lack of assertiveness and boundaries. What most men don’t know is that women despise weak men. Making women understand logic is a pipe dream, using logic to beat female rationality is vain task. They will never understand you or any men, they can only accept your nature, your rules and frame, that’s masculine leadership. 

Approach women with Masculine authentic presence and confidence, not chase them, chasing is inauthentic, it is faked confidence, it is thirst, it’s been needy. Stand your place, be confident in your value because you have it. Then invite her to your frame, observe indicators of interest, then pursue, not chase.

Leave a Reply

The Locker Room Awaits